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If you’re born here and never learned French, you live in a bubble. Here in Quebec there are government programs that will teach you French for free. But ultimately, learning a language is a good thing. Everyone in the world should be allowed to speak whatever bloody language they well want-in the workplace and in private. Yes, Bill 14 flies in the face of human rights. Myth 3: They’re forcing French down our throats Francophone pride is justified-it’s just misguided in its methods. Where English is all direct and forthright and short and blunt, French is long-limbed and complicated and likes to wear bows and curlicues. French is a beautiful language-way prettier than English. Many in francophone Québec, from the 20something hipster editors of Montreal magazine Urbania to ancient separatist chansonnier Gilles Vigneault, still see anglos as the Other, the oppressor, the white dudes in apartheid-era South Africa. Bill 14 isn’t just strategy, it speaks to people. Brenhouse is right: when the PQ climbs onto the roof and starts shouting, they’re doing it to galvanize their audience. And though I’d love to point the finger at angryphone editorialists at large and say the language wars are media-hyped prejudiced alarmism, they’re not. “The PQ is trying to reassure its separatist base of its seriousness as a defender of Québécois identity,” wrote Hillary Brenhouse, from Time, on April 8. Issues like this, which haven’t failed to get a rise out of international media every one of the six times Bill 101 has been amended since its inception, are a great way to get attention. Their power is slight their voice seeks might. The Parti Québécois, in power for the first time in a long time, is in a minority government. They are fighting a mighty dragon, maybe not for their life, but for their sense of identity and distinction. The issue here is about power: minority and majority. When a whole country and its media machine mobilizes against the word “pasta” on a restaurant menu, it’s not really about the word “pasta.” I don’t doubt that the very agents of the Office de la langue Française, who were on the Buonanotte case, are chill enough to just point and nod when ordering food on their vacay to Italy. So let’s clear this aforementioned shit up-starting with five myths about Québec’s language laws. On December 5, 2012, the Parti Québécois introduced Bill 14, a 155-point amendment to Bill 101 that has got so much shit hitting the fan that we can’t see our hands in front of our faces. Early 2013 saw the resurrection of an issue most of us Quebecers wish we could bury alongside Céline Dion’s unsullied youth: The so-called “language wars” of Canada’s outsider province, pitting poor, downtrodden French against brutish, domineering English since 1977. The public enemy numéro un of the Quebec Premier-and many more before her-is a lot less fun than drugs, obviously.